You Can Get Better

"It is going to be the same. However you are going to get better!"

We began our griefshare group last Sunday night. It is a place where those who have lost loved ones--husbands, wives, sons, daughters, mothers, sisters--come to experience the healing of God. These were the words that I shared. The one they loved will not come back. The reality of the death will not change. But you are going to get better.

It has almost been two years since my sister, Sharon died suddenly. She walked into the hospital on a Friday evening and within 24 hours her life was gone. The music stopped.

Sharon was one of the most naturally talented musicians I have ever known. If you could hum it, she could play it in any key on the piano. In fact one of the things she did was play the hymn, Holy Holy Holy changing keys with every holy. If you had any musical ear at all, it would make your skin curl. She would play it for those with no musical ear and they would say, "How nice!" We would chuckle. She had a beautiful soprano voice. Music filled her life as she filled others life with music as well.

I found out that she was in the hospital only hours before she died. It was too quick. There were things we were still going to do as brother and sister. There were words that were meant to be said; moments still left to be shared. And yet, there was nothing I could do to change the reality of her death.

But I am better--most of the time. There are times when I remember both of my sisters who have passed away with great fondness. It is almost as though they are still alive--for they are-- in my living memories. These memories bring life to me.

Then there are times when there is what one of my friends describes as a hole in the heart. Sadness is all around me. It encompasses me. Sometimes it paralyzes me but only for a while. It comes when I hear a particular song or a random thought enters my head. But now I am better. Time has made me better.

In the coming weeks, my family will have a family wedding. Both of my sisters will not be there, but then they will be. They will be remembered and missed. We will laugh and cry. We will remember.

The loss of a loved one is something that never changes. However you can get better. Grief is best cared for when it is shared. It takes time. It is a unique journey that has some common trails where people meet. Resist the temptation to be strong and go it alone. Worship your way through the loss of a loved one.

I think this is what Jesus meant when he talked about giving peace in John 14. It is not the peace that the world gives, but a heavenly peace. It is this heavenly peace that has helped me get better.

You too, can get better.