Delaying Some Things Is Not Bad

I know this is one that I will not win.  But hear me out.

It is graduation time.  Seniors are now looking back or forward.  College grads are now looking for or beginning jobs.  And then there is kindergarten graduations.  Kindergarten?  We now graduate from kindergarten?

I must admit that I was kicked out of kindergarten.  My mom tells me that my friend, P.C. and I were allowed to go to kindergarten one day.  The teacher told them not to bring us back.  I have no memory of this.  It is an oral tradition in the family that mom rarely speaks about.  I am sure that it did not involve bodily harm or anything too serious or I would remember the consequences.  

For those who do not know, there was a day (just as we got off Noah's ark) when you just completed a grade in school without such fanfare. There was a note at the bottom of your final report card that told you that you were promoted.  You did not wear a cap and gown.  There was no limo to carry you to the final school program.    You carried a small token of appreciation to your teacher the last day.  Then you were given a hug as you left and the teacher  breathed a sigh of relief as you left!

There is a story about a little boy that was crying so badly as he left his first grade classroom.  The teacher consoled him and asked him why he was so upset.  He explained, "if only you were smart enough to teach the second grade, you could be my teacher next year too!"

So why does kindergarten graduation concern me?  

i agree with James Dobson, a noted Christian author and medical doctor.  We have forgotten the importance of delayed gratification in rearing our children.  It is a very important part of human development.  We are leaving very little for our children to experience as they grow up.  By the time our children are fourteen or fifteen, the only thing they have not done is have a baby and/or kill someone.  So teenage pregnancy and teenage deaths or involvement in crime continue to rise.  Could there be a connection?

I know a four year old that has a facebook page. Some kids will have so many trophies in their rooms by the time they are ten that when they get to young adult age they will have no motivation to excel anymore.  They will be bored with what rewards can be offered.

When did parenting become giving the child everything they want before the age of six or seven?   When did delaying gratification lose its place in helping our children become mature and productive young adults?  May I share some vital information with young parents.  NO is not a bad word.  In fact, NO can be the most important words that your kids learn. You tell your children, "This is something you will experience LATER in life" regardless of what other parents allow their kids to do.

Maybe children need to wear a cap and gown when they graduate from high school?  Maybe our children need to ride in a limo when they get married?  Maybe parents and organizations should save some gratification for when kids grow up.  I know it is not as cute.  I know it takes away those pictures.  But just think with me.  What is more important--cute pictures, sentimental moments or mature productive ALIVE kids?  

I know it is an argument or point that is not popular and I will not win over cultural gratification.  I know I am  portrayed as an "old grumpy old man".  Some will call me archaic and old fashioned    But maybe it is costing us more than we want to pay.

Pray for me as I pray for  you.

God Does Not Will Tragedies

The tragedy of the tornadoes in Oklahoma brings the God question again.  Where is God when such things happen?  Why does God allow such things?  Does God do this to teach us?  Was God having a bad day and decided to take it out on humanity?

There was a time when humans did not understand as much about our universe as we do today.  The current thought was that the earth was flat.  The sun revolved around the earth.  Sickness was seen as a punishment by God.  God was responsible for everything that happens on this earth—human decisions, catastrophes, etc. 

As time passed humans discovered what was there all along.  We made and continue to make discoveries that gives us better and more accurate information.  For example, genes did not suddenly appear in the human body.  It just took us this long to find them!  I imagine the conversation in heaven might have gone like this—“Hey look, they finally discovered genes.  It took them long enough!”

As time has passed, we have learned that God in giving us free will allows things to happen.  The conditions of the earth come together and tornadoes are formed.  There is human life lost due to the state of the universe.   Disease is a consequence of human life.  Tragedies are born out of the choices that human beings make.

So let us be clear.  The tornadoes that took human life and property were not punishing anyone.  God is not mad at creation.  God did not take the life of a child to teach someone else.  Life just happens.  As Jesus of Nazareth said, “It rains on the just and the unjust.” 

But we must not stop here.  God is not an indifferent observer of such things.  God chooses to be present.  God chooses to suffer with creation.  God chooses to be affected by the hurts of humanity.  It is out of this presence that good things come into being when tragedies occur.    God moves the hearts of the nation to reach out and care for one another.  God invites us to be united into God’s community (kingdom) in moments like this.  In the tragedies of life, God sends us to one another in the name of another one who was fully human and fully God—Jesus. 

Good is able to come out of all evil and tragedies in life because God is at work in you and me.  This is what it means to be in the will of God.  Make sure you are a part of the good will (or God’s will) during tragedies.

 

Pray for me as I pray for you.

Dr. M. Jack O’Dell

Continue the Celebration!

It is graduation season.  It is a time to celebrate.

Moms and Dads can remember the years--good and bad!  There were years where school went well.  It might not have been an honor roll year, but it went well given your child's ability.  These were the years of great achievement.  For some it was achievement in sports, arts, or academics.  For others it was where you saw your child make good friends and keep them.

Then there were those other years.  You watched as your child struggled.  Some of the struggles were just growing up.  It is such a helpless feeling to see your child struggle in the social arena.  We all want to be liked.  All children at one time or another struggles with their friend relationships.  People let you down.  Others watched their child struggle in academics, arts, or sports.  It may have been a difficult concept to grasp or an injury.  These are the years of prayer and perseverance.

So now there is a cap and gown.  Maybe an honor cord or certificate.  But always a smile.  The one that is graduating remembers.  The graduate remembers those who have taught them and those who have caught them!  The focus is now looking forward.  You can already here them say, "I can't wait for....."  Some will be going to received education or training.  Others will be in the job.  Either way, life is good!  The journey has taken a new direction.

Celebrations are so important.  Sometimes  in our hurried culture, we forget to celebrate.  We are off to the next task--the next step.  Celebrations are an excuse to stay where you are for a moment longer.  It is the realization that this place or this space needs to be continued as it is---to celebrate.  Celebration is allowing the community to enjoy the accomplishment with a sense of joy.

It should not seem strange to realize that Jesus of Nazareth performed his first miracle at a celebration.  The wine has run out.  The celebration will end.  Mary, his mother, would not even think of it.  She knew that Jesus could keep the celebration on the high note.  In fact, as time passed, it would only continue to get better.

So the water was turned into wine.  The celebration continued reaching an even higher note.  And the glory of God was revealed.  You see, when God's people are glorified, God takes it as a personal compliment!

Celebrate!

Pray for me as I pray for you.

Tell The Stories of Moms!

Mother's day is Sunday.

This used to be the day when more collect calls were made than any other day of the year. Mothers would never refuse a call from a son or daughter.   You can never call your mother too many times.  Most mothers can tell you the last time they talked to each child.

It is the day when the restaurants are full.   Flowers are sent or placed on the grave. Church attendance is up at Mother's Day.  Isn't it strange that food and religion are mother topics.

Mother's Day is filled with wisdom.  Mothers are always full of knowledge.  I call them "mommilies"--those things you mother would always tell  you.  "Don't cross your eyes like that, your face may freeze!"  "Always wear clean underwear, you never know when you are going to have an accident."  "Do you think we live in a barn--close the door!"

For some, Mother's Day is a sad day.  It is a day of broken dreams.  Some mothers just did not have the ability to mother.  For some reason they did not give great care or love. If only a manual or directions came  with children!  Maybe it would be easier but I doubt it.   Most women dream of becoming a mother only to find that it is not possible.   One time I received an irate call from a young lady because the church made such a big deal about being a mother.  I listened to her and prayed for her.    I think she just wanted to know she was not alone.

There is great power in stories.  I would encourage you to share the stories of being a mother, becoming a mother, and yes, of your mother.  Youngsters need to hear them more often.  Youngsters need to know that there are great examples of those people we call mom!

Growing up in my house, I had to learn how to share mom.  There were cousins and others who came to live with us when life was overwhelming.  Mom opened her house and her heart to those who needed a place to heal.  Mom loved to open the table she prepared for anyone needing a bite of family.  I remember sitting down one holiday meal and there was a stranger sitting next to me.  I introduced myself and asked about their journey.  As I watched this friend (a stranger I haven't met yet!) join in the fellowship of the meal, I noticed how much attention mom gave this new family member.    You see once you have been at the table, you become family!

Happy Mother's Day!  May you treasure all the moments of motherhood--those you give and you receive!

Pray for me as I pray for you.

Lead by Example!

Graduation is one of those things in life that we celebrate!  Celebrations are not meant to turn tragic but they can.

The father answered the phone.  Calls at this time rarely brought good news.  This was not good news!  The voice on the other end of the phone was not one of his friends.  It was the voice of the local law enforcement agency.  His daughter was taken to the emergency room.  She was critically injured in an auto accident.  His heart broke as he awakened his wife.

The drive to the hospital was silent.  Neither of them knew what to say.  Silently they just prayed that the worst was not what they would find when they arrived at the hospital.  But they did.  Graduation had turned into tragedy.

The father could not resist going to the scene of the accident.  He had to see with his own eyes.  He needed some answers.  The story unfolded as the law enforcement people on the scene informed him that apparently the driver and the others in the vehicle had been drinking.  They were celebrating their graduation. 

The father's heart was filled with rage as he took from the car an empty bottle.  He made a vow that he would find who sold this bottle to minors and they would pay.  His revenge would be justice.

There was only one thing to do but go home.   He went back home and they all wept.  How could this be?

As he roamed around the house still in shock of the night's events, he noticed one of the cabinet doors slightly open..  He went to close the cabinet and a note fell out on the floor.  There in in an all too familiar handwriting he read these words, "Dad, borrowed a bottle to celebrate.  Didn't think you would mind!"  Signed by his daughter.

When things happen in life, often the responsibility falls at our own feet.  We think it is outside of us but it is not.  Maybe this tragic story teaches us to be mindful of the examples we set.  For the examples we set cost more than we can ever imagine.

Pray for me as I pray for you.