Make the Holidays Meaningful

I think I would have liked to be at Lazarus' house during the holidays.

Martha had cooked everything in the kitchen that could be cooked. As people gathered, Mary was the best welcome wagon one could ever have dreamed of having. And Lazarus must have laughed alot--loudly. It is no wonder that scriptures tell us that Jesus would go there as often as possible. When Jesus was at wit's end, he would say to his disciples, "Let's go see what Lazarus is up to!" And then the disciples would cheer!

The holiday season can be one of dread and duty. Reluctant folks cook more than any family can eat thinking that it must be done. Young couples drag their kids to and fro to see everybody in one day. If one does not do what is expected, the manipulators of guilt pour it on hot and heavy. And those who have been trained to respond to this, swallow it hook, line, and sinker.

Now before I am publicly flogged by the mass of those who do not understand what I am saying, hear me out. I think holidays are a great time to share with family and friends. Holidays are a wonderful time to eat more than one should. Holidays are a time to get together. However, I am one who is in favor of creating a holiday that keeps the joy in place. There are other days of the year to do what one must do.

A young couple with two little children made a conscious decision to relax the holiday schedule and obligations. They told both sets of parents that they would not be driving across Texas to see both of them on a certain day. They invited parents to do what parents felt they wanted to do. Instead of cooking the turkey (which neither of them really liked), they decided to cook hamburgers, french fries, and go get ice cream for dessert. The day was spent playing games with the children. There was no schedule of loading and unloading the car.

They received the call of shame and guilt from everyone they expected to call. Instead of reacting though, they assured each of them that they loved and cared about each of them. At the end of the day, they held each other as they watched their children fall asleep on the couch. It was a day they would remember.

For some the holidays will be filled with vacant spots. Vacancy comes from death, moving, or sometimes from kids choosing to carve out their own space. I know what this is like in my own life. Instead of running away from the vacancy, spend time thanking God for the days you were able to be with loved ones at different times and places. Spend time praying for those who are creating new spaces. Then create new spaces in your life's journey. None of us are ever too old to create new space. It may be going to a Community Thanksgiving Meal. It may be new friends or old friends. It may mean a different menu all together. It might be the old menu. Whatever it is, Give Thanks!

A widow was dreading the holidays as they approached. None of her family would be coming. No matter what she said or did, no one was coming. At one point of self pity she said to herself, "Well I guess they would come if I would die!" She came to the conclusion that she was not going to be alone at Thanksgiving or Christmas though. She had heard about a group home for abused women in the community from one of her friends. Through the friends, she was able to make contact with the director. She asked if she might bring a dessert to the home on Thanksgiving Day. The director of the home thought that would be wonderful. So she did.

Her heart was warmed as though it were a hot summer day as she spent the afternoon visiting with the women at the shelter. They laughed and shared stories. The day was truly filled with thanksgiving. What could have been a holiday of bitterness and loneliness had turned into a day of gratitude and new friends.

Life is too short to fill your holidays with little joy or peace.