You Will Get Off the Rollercoaster!

I sat in the courtroom for only a short while. But my heart was so heavy. The story had been told many times before from different people. The story was still so sad. Five men entered the bar with guns. When all the shooting was over, four good friends lives came to an abrupt end. One of the men that was there to do harm will do no more harm.

Grief is like this. When we experience loss, whether in death, relationships, health, or even a job, the story seems to replay over and over again. As it is replayed, there is a part of us searching for answers. We seem to think that if we go over it one more time it will make sense. But it doesn't.

One description of the experience of loss likens it to being on a great roller coaster. It is a roller coaster that you have waited to ride. So you are on it. The only problem is now you can not get off. Staying on a roller coaster is not good for one in many ways. The cars pull into the station to where you are supposed to get off and then walk away talking about how much fun the ride was. Only, the roller coaster does not stop. You go for another spin and another and another.

Like Job's friends, who tried to make sense out of the suffering, your friends try to give you answers. They too want to give you more information. They tell you things that make even less sense. Some of the friend's words just make it worse. They are "pat"little sayings that tell you more about your friend's fears than your own. Sometimes well meaning friends say the stupidest things. Other friends avoid you like the plague.

Some like to say that time heals. I disagree. Time passes. Time does not make it better. Relationships in your life make you better over time. You get better. The grief or the loss is still there. It does not disappear or become any less meaningful. You get better as time passes.

One day, hopefully sooner than later, the roller coaster stops. Usually it stops not of its own will, but because of yours. You come to grips with the facts that you will never understand nor know. You come to grips with the precious present. You find a sense of meaning and hope--enough to start each day--little by little.

The good news is that while you are going through this painful part of your life, God is with you. sometimes it does not seem like it. But God is there. Our inability to see the sun does not mean the sun has disappeared. One day the clouds break and the light that has always been there comes through.

My heart goes back to the courtroom where the family will sit for many days--wondering, listening, weeping. This will only be for a season. Then they will get off the roller coaster and walk through life----with God.