I Am The Father of the Bride

So I am going to be father of the bride again. It is now less than a month away! It is my last time to do this. All three of my daughters will be married.

One of the things I have learned is that as a father you are never ready to see your daughter walk down the aisle. All daughters are most beautiful. All daughters are filled with anticipation. I will cry. Yes, I will be choking back the tears as I walk her down the aisle.

Planning the wedding is another matter. It is an adventure that one wants to do but one wants to survive. There are too many images of wedding in this world. There are too many dreams. There are never enough resources. There are more experts on weddings that one can ever want in life.

As a clergy person doing a wedding ceremony, it is a part of my job to calm the "experts" so that the bride has the wedding she dreamed of instead of what everyone else thinks she should have. There have been times that I have told aunts, uncles, best friends, mother in laws, etc. to just sit down and let go of their expectations. The only expert is the bride. It is her wedding.

Some pastors officiate at their daughter's weddings. I choose not to do this. This is a time when I am a father. The truth is that I could never do this anyway. I would cry during the whole time. So I will focus on being dad.

As a dad my job is to be quiet. It is hard for a dad to be quiet. It is even more difficult for a dad preacher to be quiet. But that is what I am learning to do. Or at least I am trying to do this. I want my daughter to have the wedding of her dreams. More importantly I want her to have the marriage she has dreamed having.

So I have decided to be the father of the bride who is also a pastor. What does that mean? I have been in constant prayer for my daughter, Miranda and her fiancé, Keith. I have prayed each day for their happiness and love to grow. I have prayed for Mandy and me to relax enough to enjoy being the parents of the bride. I have prayed for the grandkids to make it down aisle in peace (Little children are a challenge in a weddings).

Weddings are a gift from God. It is an opportunity to celebrate family and friends. It is a time to receive the wonderful gift of God. For me it is a time of being the father of the bride!

Pray for me as I pray for you.

Keep The Faith and It Will Keep You!

Let me set the record straight about two things Not everything that happens in life is the will of God. God is at work in life for goodness to happen.

On the way to the grocery store, life happens.

Children rebel and pull away from the things that they were taught. Tragedy comes to the good, the bad, and the ugly—sometime to all three at the same time. The good folks prosper. The bad folks prosper. Spouses choose to through away their covenant love for cheap love. Someone reaches out in compassion to the person in need. Cancer begins to slowly tear down a once healthy vibrant body. And the story goes on.

As life happens some choose to see that as always what God intended. I do not believe this to be true. Sometimes life happens because of the laws of nature. Sometimes life happens because of the selfishness of humanity. Tragedies come randomly as we live life. Mistakes are made. There was a time in civilization when knowledge was so limited that the only response that could be imagined was "God must be doing this." However there is knowledge today that gives us a better grip on life in some areas. Disease is not a punishment from God. It happens as a consequence of genetics, environment, or sometimes the choices we make.

So what do we do when life just happens? Believe and keep the faith.

Keeping the belief system in place is a tough thing to do. This is why during the good times of life; we "stockpile" the promises of God. We fill our lives with the evidence and assurance of God's love and God's care. I am always reminded that Noah built the ark while the sun was still shining. A practical way of doing this is to keep a private journal or notebook that underscores God's presence. I know a person who marks her Bible passages of promise and hope in yellow. On the dark days when life just happens, she says she looks for the sunshine (yellow) passages in her Bible.

Know you are not alone. Some folks try to take life's difficulties alone. Men have a tendency to do this. One is convinced that this is strength when it is not. It is weakness. Strength is reaching for help and companionship knowing that two or more are stronger than one. The assurance of faith knows that God is at work for goodness. What happens is not good---but God's creative power can make something good come out of life's difficulties.

A woman who suffered great tragedy in her life but became a beacon of light to those around her was once asked, "How do you do it? What is your secret?" Her answer was, "I keep the faith and it keeps me!"

So on the way to the grocery store, life WILL happen. Keep the faith and the faith will keep you—in life and life everlasting.

Pray for me as I Pray for you.

Invest in the Treasures That Matter

What is in your treasure chest?

Jesus said the words, "Where your treasure is, there your heart will be?"

A young man was grieving the loss of his father. His father's death had come quickly. The young man found himself sorting through the belongings of his father. He was searching for something. He did not know what it was. He just needed to look through his father's stuff.

He found a wooden box. It looked like a treasure chest. He had never seen this before. He opened it.

Inside the box, he found pictures of people that he did not know. Most of the pictures were of young persons, although not all of them. There were also some strange objects which seemed to be random—a belt buckle, an old grocery list,--none of these seemed to make sense. The young man's curiosity would not rest. He wanted to know the story behind the treasures.

The young man found a name on the back of one picture. He recognized the name so he decided to search out the person and see why his father had this picture. When he got to talk to the woman, her eyes were filled with tears. "Years ago when I was in college, I got to the point where I was going to have to quit school. The finances just were not there. Your father was a friend with my dad. Your dad called me and told me to stay in school. Each month I received a check that paid my tuition and books. He did this for three years. I never really got to tell him how much he changed my life."

Then the young man found the grocery receipt. It had also a name of a man who worked with his father for years. The young man found his way to the man's house and showed him the grocery receipt. The man's eyes filled with tears when he saw the receipt. "When I was younger, I had a problem with gambling. One day I took all of my paycheck and lost it---lost it all." I went to your father to ask him for an advance in pay. He demanded that I tell him what was going on. When he heard my story, we got in his car and went to the grocery store. There he bought enough groceries for my family for a month. He told me to keep my job I had to begin to attend a gambling helps group. He changed my life." The receipt was a reminder.

Time after time, the young man traced down the story of items in the treasure chest his father had kept over all the years. He heard the same story. Stories of where his father had quietly helped those who were in need in quite ways.

Finally the young man realized what he knew about his father. His father was a compassionate man who treasured the good things in life. He was never a man of great means. But the sons discovered the treasures of life with his heart.

In a day where the launch of a new IPhone is predicted to have a great impact on our country's economics, let us dare to invest differently.

When we die, may our sons find a treasure chest that is filled with the good stuff.

Pray for me as I pray for you.

Be the heart with Hands.

The past few days have brought back some memories from Katrina days. In some ways it is a difficult time remembering. In other ways it is a challenging time.

One of the images that came from Katrina for me was a heart with hands. Yeah, I know it is a weird image in some ways. But what people need during some times of rebuilding are hands. The heart is just not enough. It reminds me of the call that you would hear aboard a naval ship, "All hands on deck!" In a hospital setting, the word, "STAT" is heard. It means there is a sense of urgency. It is a way of saying, "Get off your duff and get with the program!" Rebuilding is not a spectator sport.

The other lesson we learned from Katrina was that good hands can be overwhelmed by the work ahead. In the beginning when teams would come to help, they would be sent out in teams of 4 – 6 persons. What we found is that number was too few. The overwhelming task drained the energy from the group. We learned to send groups of 10 -15 to one site. The size of the group provided enough energy towards the project that the work would continue. It was important to show progress quickly. Then the task did not seem too great.

There is often great good that can come from great struggles in life. For example, a group of doctors during the Korean War began to chart the length of recovery from surgery for patients that had to be moved quickly. The research showed that the quicker you moved the patient after surgery, the recovery time was shorter. So no longer do patients just lie around after surgery like they used to do. The doctors have you moving as quickly as possible. We learned this from war surgeons.

The good that can come from storms is when our hearts and hands reach out. You can spend time helping others during the difficulties of recovery. You can serve God by serving others. Acts of compassion become contagious.

So open your heart to those in need with prayer. Pray daily for those who are struggling to get their life back in order. Then give your heart and prayers flesh. Make the word become flesh by offering your hands to help.

Pray for me as I pray for you.