The Gift of Caring

The two women on the cruise did not realize the can of worms they were about to open. They watched this handsome middle age man care for the feeble woman as though she was royalty. He pampered her with great care and tenderness. Finally one of the women said, "Isn't it a shame for such a handsome and able man to have to spend so much time taking care of a invalid?" She thought the conversation was not heard by the man. She thought the conversation was over. She was wrong on both accounts.

The gentleman continued to give great attention to the woman. Finally he carefully wheeled her wheelchair out of the area and disappeared. It wasn't long until he returned. He walked up to the two women and said, "Excuse me. But I heard what you said about me and my wife. I need you to know that one of the greatest honors in my life is to care for her in her illness. You see she has given me more in life than I can ever give back to her. And this I will do until either one of two things happen--either I die or she dies."

Taking care of loved ones can be an overwhelming task. It may be a child whose health is frail. It may be a father or mother who now requires more care than one can find. Or maybe it is a spouse that suffers from emotional or physical illness. In the best of worlds, there is a team of family and friends that join together to make sure things are done. In most worlds, it seems to be done by only one or two persons. But it gets done. It overwhelms many in life.

In another country and another culture, there is actually a business venture that has evolved over the care of aging parents. You can actually hire actors to visit aging parents. The actors learn their roles, dress the part, and for a fee visit the parents. Now the parents know that these are actors and not their children. When surveyed, the aging parents actually enjoy the visit of the actors MORE than their real children. What a shame on both levels!

If you are the caregiver in whatever situation, let me assure you of one thing. You are not alone. God hears your worries. God hears your cries. God knows the decisions that have to be made are not easy. You are not alone.

If you have neglected your role in caring, maybe today God is inviting you to change. Maybe it is time for you to share the task of caring for loved ones. Maybe today guilt or anger can be replaced by compassion and care. Maybe you know a friend that needs help.

A young child was complaining to his mother about having to go visit his grandmother in the nursing home. "I do not see why I have to go. She never even knows who I am. It doesn't make sense." The mother responded, "I know. I feel that sad when she does not know who I am. However, she may not know who we are, but we know who she is. She is my mother whom I love. She is my mother who gave me life in many ways." And with that the child said nothing else.