Life happens to all of us. Jesus gave us the reality of it when he said, "It rains on the just and the unjust." For some it is being in the wrong place at the right time. For others it is a consequence of poor choice or bad judgement. Sometimes it is the best choice in the worst of situations.
As life happens our reality becomes a new reality. You can try to deny the new reality but eventually it catches up with you. Life is never constant. You are either moving forward or backward. It is an illusion that you are standing still. The earth is always moving whether you feel it or not.
It is sad when one becomes consumed with bitterness. The river of bitterness runs rampant in many lives. You have heard bitterness. Perhaps you remember the taste of bitterness in your world. It is cynicism. It is anger. It is frustration. Many times it is a victim mentality. Someone did or continues to do something to me. Remember that people can only abuse you as much as you allow them to do so. You do have some power in the game.
The biggest problem with bitterness is that it consumes more energy than we like to admit. In order for the fountain of bitterness to run we have to continually drink from it. In life's limited amount of energy, bitterness can consume our thoughts and our speech. It becomes our focus. It becomes our poison.
I have a close friend that every conversation held with him is nothing but bitterness. There is little or no awareness of "kairos" time---time that is filled with meaning. All of the conversation is "chronos"--counting days until this time passes. It is difficult to even have a conversation with this person. This person has imprisoned himself! He alone must choose to get better.
I use the analogy of hitting one's finger with a hammer. It is a pain that most of us have known in our life. It wounds us. It causes us to shout out. It makes us think the next time we have a hammer in our hand. With bitterness, the hammer is IN our hand. We are the one that keeps hitting our own finger with the hammer WE are holding! We like to think someone else is doing this but the reality is that our thoughts are the force behind the hammer.
Bitterness keeps us from intimacy and happiness.
So what is the other choice? We can change our thoughts to get better. When we change our thoughts, our feelings will change over time. Once our thoughts are changed and our feelings are adapting to the new thoughts, our behavior changes. It begins in the mind!
Getting better is a slow process sometimes. It requires us to think good thoughts again and again until our feelings and behavior change. Getting better does not deny the reality of loss and pain in life but invites us to get our the umbrella when life rains on us. Getting better is making a decision to put down the hammer. Getting better is re-framing life. Re frame that which is past. Re frame from that which is harmful. It is forwarding thinking. It makes note of what one learned from the pain and agony of life. Life is not over. I have the ability using the image of God within me to be creative.
For many getting better is getting OFF the pity pot--"Woe is me!" (It is okay to sit there for just a while!) For some getting better is realizing that one is really among the fortunate of the world. For most getting better is creating new friendships that help us combat isolation and loneliness. Getting better connects us to purpose and meaning in life's relationships.
It is a choice to be bitter or better. The invitation of Jesus is always to be better!
Pray for me as I pray for you.
In the Master's Name,
Dr. M. Jack O'Dell
www.midweekmanna.com
www.stlukesimpson.org
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