Give Happiness to Yourself!

Like many, I am back on the treadmill. The combination of my see-f00d diet (I see it and eat it) and not enough exercise has taken its toil on me. I have to tell you I really do not like the treadmill--no matter what else I add to it. I have tried the television, the ipod, reading. It does not change the fact that I am on the treadmill. One cardiologist that I visited regularly to do the treadmill had a beautiful picture of the beach right in front of the treadmill. It did nothing for me either.

I learned something interesting today. Did you know that Sir William Cubitt invented the treadmill in 1817 as a tool to reform prisoners? Seems the idea of going nowhere for a long time using energy you wished you could save was thought to change behaviors. Maybe they figured that tired people do less wrong.

It took modern man a while (1952) to realize that tools for punishment had other redeeming values. Dr. Robert Bruce and Wayne Quinton, of the University of Washington, began using the treadmill for evaluating the severity of heart and lung disease. Their introduction of this into the field of medicine has saved many--including me!

I think the treadmill of life is what scares me. It is the day by day, week by week grind that seems to move ever so slowly or just go nowhere. All of us experience it at one time or another. It leads us to boredom or worst--burnout. I do not think anyone finds happiness staying on the treadmill.

This can happen in all areas of life. You find it most of the time in work and relationships. Most of the time, it is self imposed. We like to think that it is something that is external to us. But it really is within us. You see happiness and meaning is something you give yourself. Others do not make you happy. You choose happiness.

Martha Washington, wife of George, has an interesting perspective about staying off the treadmill of unhappiness. "I am still determined to be cheerful and to be happy in whatever situation I may be, for I have also learnt from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our disposition, and not upon our circumstances, we carry the seeds of the one or the other about with us, in our minds, wherever we go." (George Washington's Sacred Fire)

I think Jesus avoided the treadmills of life by using his time apart for prayer and resting. Yes, I think sometimes when Jesus went to lonely places it was just to rest. He knew too well the tug and pull of life. Jesus knew the stabbings of critics, the unending pressure for more, and the inner struggles of life were overwhelming.

So I will get on the treadmill when I cannot do something else. But it only for a short while and only to exercise and combat the urge to consume more. But in the rest of life, I run from the treadmill for it takes the life out of me.

Like Jesus, I need to find a place to just be--be with God and be at rest. Then I am ready to meet life with all the life I have to give. I choose to give happiness starting with myself.

The Gift of Caring

The two women on the cruise did not realize the can of worms they were about to open. They watched this handsome middle age man care for the feeble woman as though she was royalty. He pampered her with great care and tenderness. Finally one of the women said, "Isn't it a shame for such a handsome and able man to have to spend so much time taking care of a invalid?" She thought the conversation was not heard by the man. She thought the conversation was over. She was wrong on both accounts.

The gentleman continued to give great attention to the woman. Finally he carefully wheeled her wheelchair out of the area and disappeared. It wasn't long until he returned. He walked up to the two women and said, "Excuse me. But I heard what you said about me and my wife. I need you to know that one of the greatest honors in my life is to care for her in her illness. You see she has given me more in life than I can ever give back to her. And this I will do until either one of two things happen--either I die or she dies."

Taking care of loved ones can be an overwhelming task. It may be a child whose health is frail. It may be a father or mother who now requires more care than one can find. Or maybe it is a spouse that suffers from emotional or physical illness. In the best of worlds, there is a team of family and friends that join together to make sure things are done. In most worlds, it seems to be done by only one or two persons. But it gets done. It overwhelms many in life.

In another country and another culture, there is actually a business venture that has evolved over the care of aging parents. You can actually hire actors to visit aging parents. The actors learn their roles, dress the part, and for a fee visit the parents. Now the parents know that these are actors and not their children. When surveyed, the aging parents actually enjoy the visit of the actors MORE than their real children. What a shame on both levels!

If you are the caregiver in whatever situation, let me assure you of one thing. You are not alone. God hears your worries. God hears your cries. God knows the decisions that have to be made are not easy. You are not alone.

If you have neglected your role in caring, maybe today God is inviting you to change. Maybe it is time for you to share the task of caring for loved ones. Maybe today guilt or anger can be replaced by compassion and care. Maybe you know a friend that needs help.

A young child was complaining to his mother about having to go visit his grandmother in the nursing home. "I do not see why I have to go. She never even knows who I am. It doesn't make sense." The mother responded, "I know. I feel that sad when she does not know who I am. However, she may not know who we are, but we know who she is. She is my mother whom I love. She is my mother who gave me life in many ways." And with that the child said nothing else.

At the core of life

What is the core value of your life?

The core is the center of your being which gives life to the rest of your life. What is the value that you will not compromise?

It is interesting to honestly examine the cores of life. Some try to maintain that one has the core value of honesty but the truth in the heart of hearts reveals how relative that can be. You mean I have to be honest everywhere? Does mostly honest count? It is like being a little pregnant.

Another person will hold the core value of marriage highly. But then when examining the use of time reveals that there is not much quality time spent there. Work and other things in life squeeze out the time necessary for a core value. Too often marriage is just seen ans just another task to be done after a hard day of work. There just is not enough time or energy.

Kids--Parenting is a core value of life--surely. Or is it? How much intentional time is spent parenting your child, teaching the important things in life? We entertain our children well. But intentional instruction in life--that is what parenting is all about. They will have other people in life to entertain them.

Jesus of Nazareth came to this world to reveal the core value of the Creator God. It is summed up in one word--love. The life and teachings of Jesus reveal to us that in life whatever we do, make sure that we love. We love our God. We love our neighbors. We love our enemies! We even love ourselves.

At the end of each day, the faith calls us to inquire of ourselves simply one question around the core value of faith. The question is: Have I given the world all the love that God has given to me today?

And your answer is.....

Grace is Better Than Law

Another football season is here. It is called Bowl games in college. In the NFL it is the postseason. Only certain teams get invited to play at this time. Only the teams that have outperformed the others. It is a part of our world--performance evaluation.

We find it at work as well. Each year you are graded on your performance. If you out perform others, you get the big bucks. If you fail your evaluation the job is at stake. You are sent to training so that you can perform better.

We even confront this in our relationships. If you are not performing well as a spouse, you will find out about it. Hopefully you will find out before it is too late. Society looks at your kids and their behavior as an analysis of how you are performing as a parent and family. If your three year old throws a performance (temper tantrum) in a public place, you are instantly graded by those around. It doesn't matter if there are other factors in play.

As a youngster in the church, I thought that God had a performance evaluation as well. I was judged as worthy of being in heaven or acceptable with regard to how well I was living as a Christian. Needless to say, most of my life was categorized an unacceptable and under performing.

Then in college, my New Testament professor Webb Pomeroy set me free from the law. He said, "Jack, the grace of God extended to you has nothing to do with your performance. God loves you the same all the time--at your worse or at your best." Talk about changing my world. The day I believed that to be true set me free.

You see the motive for doing what God would have me do and being what God would have me be changed from law to grace. The motive moved from fear to love. I want to be what God would want me to be and do what God would have me do because I do not want to disappoint someone who loves me so much. I began to understand what it means to live in God's unconditional love.

It is not cheap grace (Dietrich Bonhoeffer). It is costly grace. It cost Jesus his life. So now in response to this grace, I am free to live like I never ever dreamed of living. It is love that has changed me.

Love wrapped in the gift of grace brings out the best in us.